Egregious finance douchebaggery

Everyone loves to hate bankers. Their hefty bonuses, inflated egos, and “models and bottles” lifestyle framework often make them a public target for contempt. The prestige of a banking job is coveted far and wide by top business school graduates, and some of these douchebag attributes have trickled down to analyst levels. Let’s examine four infamous case studies:

Aleksey Vayner

Probably the epitome of puffery blown out of proportion. In October 2006, Vayner, a Yale student, sent UBS AG a job application. Except it wasn’t your typical CV+cover letter+transcript+references. No, it was a video resume. “BALLIN!”, you say. Well maybe, sort of. Take a look:

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La musique

Just thought I’d share some tunes that have been on my recent playlists. A little bit of Big Bang and Epik High satisfy my Asian music palate, but other than that, it’s been mostly Western. In no particular order:

T.I. ft. Young Dro – King On Set

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Totally awesome beat. Random: Is T.I. out of prison yet?

Little Boots – Remedy

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Little Boots is this adorable, instrumentally-gifted British newcomer to the mainstream scene. This one’s a pretty dance-y track. Her style reminds me of Lady GaGa, except with sufficiently less crack. Also check out New In Town, which I believe was her breakthrough single.

Jay-Z ft. Young Jeezy – Real As It Gets

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Really liking Jazzy’s latest album, The Blueprint 3. My other two favourites are Empire State of Mind and D.O.A (Death of Auto-Tune). I think this track should actually be the intro on his album.

Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift – Two Is Better Than One

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Boys Like Girls is reminiscent of Good Charlotte and Sum41, so when I first heard their single Love Drunk (also the name of their latest album), it didn’t really appeal to me. But I am a sucker for this track. It’s like one of those slow dance songs they play in chick flicks.

Ashanti ft. Flo Rida – Let’s Do Something Crazy

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This has actually been on my playlist since July, and I don’t know why it’s not more popular – I find it totally addictive.

Mariah Carey – I Want To Know What Love Is

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Good to hear MC can still belt it out. Kind of a homage to her ballad days.

James Kinney – Therapy

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This James Kinney guy just sort of came out of nowhere, but I do like the piano part in this song. Somewhat infectious?

Ke$ha – TiK ToK (aka Dolla)

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Just a fun track, with fun lyrics. Yea, Ke$ha is the girl who did Right Round with Flo Rida.

Things I do to keep myself amused while studying

A non-comprehensive list:

  • Sing Disney songs.
  • Daydream about what to do with my freedom after the exam.
  • Stare outside my window and wonder why the hell my backyard neighbour needs three satellite dishes:
Srsly...

Srsly...

  • Practice my signature.
  • Read MLIA, TFLN and FML on my phone.
  • Admire how great of a hair day I’m having, lament how there’s nobody to witness it except my family who couldn’t give two shits about the state of my coif.
  • Read things in a British accent. Everything sounds more legit with a British accent.
  • Fawn over the adorableness of Chuck & Blair and John Krasinski & Emily Blunt:
(Fictitious couple) Chuck Bass + Blair Waldorf.

(Fictitious couple) Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf

(Real-life couple) John Krasinski + Emily Blunt

(Real-life couple) John Krasinski & Emily Blunt

  • Write disapproving remarks in the margins about the textual content.
  • Experience Tetris effect without actually playing Tetris.
  • Recalculate how much reading I need to accomplish per day given the time remaining, fully aware that I’m not going to stick to schedule anyways.
  • Wonder if people actually use pipe cleaners to clean pipes.
  • Recall hilarious scenes from The Office and chuckle to myself.
  • Sketch:
I like drawing fluffy hair curls.

I like drawing fluffy hair curls.

  • Try to invent new pen-spinning techniques, drop my pen everywhere, give up, accept that I will never be as 1337 as these guys.
  • Draw anime poop in the margins of my books and label it as “gross margin”. (I know, I’m such a hoot.)
  • Make lists about things I do to keep myself amused while studying.

Girlish indulgence

I recently made a quick trip back to Waterloo for an on-campus interview and got to see some of my beloved Loo homies. After the morning interview, I rushed back to Toronto on greyhound, slipped into the office for a couple hours of work, went back downtown for a CFA study session, and then finally home. It was a tiring day but I realized how much I love the rush and pressure of keeping busy. I get a lot more done in a day, and there is really nothing better than the feeling of accomplishment. It sounds unorthodox, but I need the hustle-bustle of a big city and busy life, at least for now. Preferences are liable to change with age…

While in Loo with Jin and Lily, it occurred to all of us that we are sort of going through a very girly phase. Or maybe it’s not just a phase… I still don’t know. Apparel shopping hasn’t appealed to me in a long time. I find it tediously dull to comb through racks upon racks of clothing to maybe find that one holy grail of an item. Bargain-hunting and claustrophobic changerooms make me feel like I’m just wasting my time. In fact I now shop like a guy – on a needs basis, and no meaningless browsing.

Galleries Lafayette in Paris. Be still, my beating heart.

Galeries Lafayette in Paris. Be still, my beating heart.

Once upon a time I was a hater. I thought painted faces and fragrances were for either super-glam people/events or fakes/uglies. Hell, I had no idea what pressed powder was. BUT. Throw me in Sephora right now and my eyes will sparkle more than an otaku in Akihabara. It may have been imminent, but I developed a deep attraction to cosmetics and skincare products. The colours, the shimmer, the gloss, the scents, the snazzy packaging – draw me in like bugs to a bulb. Unfortunately, this obsession does not ring cheap. (Once you shell out $40 for a lip gloss, there’s no turning back.) I’m happy to have oozed some of this infection to Lily, getting her hooked on beauty-related blogs. I am still blown away by the devotion some of these bloggerettes have towards cosmetics. The vast array of products they try, the depth into which they conduct their reviews, the breadth of comparisons and “looks” they are inspired to create, the amount of judgment they cast upon the difference between a coral pink and a nude pink… Let’s just say that I have vastly expanded my colour and texture vocabulary to a degree I never knew existed. I still don’t really wear much make-up, and I’m nowhere close to matching the level of passion these people pour out for the beauty industry, but love the aspects of it. For now, I will just lust over pretty Dior compacts, swap product recommendations, and worship skincare regimes with mah girliez.